Self Help

Amity Solutions :

Deep Thought Topics/Questions to Ponder Over

  • Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

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    Bert B
    I let others decide I should stop drinking. But now, I have made that decision mine.
  • In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

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    Jesell Derkos
    There are a lot of days I don't remember. But I understand the question, I think. We don't really remember the little everyday things. But we need to live our life so that our actions are memorable by their goodness and rightness.
  • What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

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    Comments from Users and Affiliates:
    Bert B
    Kinda' goes along with what the preacher said Sunday about "What is your God?". I guess I had made beer my God and was giving my love there. Now I want to spend time with my wife and kids and I find I don't really know how.
  • When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

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  • If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

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    Comments from Users and Affiliates:
    Bert B
    I agree with Sam. I don't like the consequences on my mistakes and I often don't care for the lesson I learned from it.
    Bert B
    I agree with Sam. I don't like the consequences on my mistakes and I often don't care for the lesson I learned from it.
  • When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

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    Comments from Users and Affiliates:
    Jesell Derkos
    This one really hits home. I am a calculator. I figure all the angles before I act. It keeps me up at night.
  • What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

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  • Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

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  • If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

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    Nick G
    The most important people in my life... my family!
  • When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

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Inspirational Stories

  • Benefits of Struggling

    A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther.

     

    The man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened!

     

    In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

     

    What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.

     

    If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. And we could never fly.

    Author Unknown

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    Comments from Users and Affiliates:
    Mary M
    I guess I really need to think about my arthritis in a different light.
  • Positive Thinking

    Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”

     

    Because he was such a unique manager, he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”

     

    Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.’ I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.”

     

    “Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested. “Yes it is,” Jerry said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live life.”

     

    I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers.

     

    While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Wanna see my scars?” I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied. “

     

    Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.”

     

    “Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked. Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.

     

    In their eyes, I read, ‘He’s a dead man.’ I knew I needed to take action.” “What did you do?” I asked. “Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes,’ I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply… I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Bullets!’ Over their laughter, I told them, ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.” Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.

     

    I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything. Let this really sink in - then choose how you start your day tomorrow.

    By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz

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  • The Elephant Rope

    As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

     

    He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” the trainer said, “when they are very young, and much smaller, we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

     

    The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

     

    Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life.

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    Suzie C
    I like this story. I guess I have been held by a small rope that I feard. I need to get out into the world and make friends and have a little more confidence in myself.
  • Appreciate Life's Annoying Little Things

    Lessons from 9/11, the annoying little things:

    • As you might know, the head of a major company survived the tragedy of “9/11” in New York because his son started kindergarten.

    • Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts

    • One woman was late because her alarm clock didn’t go off in time.

    • One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an auto accident.

    • One of them missed his bus.

    • One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

    • One’s car wouldn’t start.

    • One went back to answer the telephone.

    • One had a child that dawdled and didn’t get ready as soon as he should have.

    • One couldn’t get a taxi.

    • The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.

    Now when I am stuck in traffic… – miss an elevator… – turn back to answer a ringing telephone… – all the little things that annoy me… – I think to myself… this is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment. The next time your morning seems to be going wrong, – the children are slow getting dressed, – you can’t seem to find the car keys, – you hit every traffic light… – don’t get mad or frustrated; God is at work watching over you.

    May God continue to bless you with all those annoying little things – and may you remember and appreciate their possible purpose.

    Author Unknown

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    Comments from Users and Affiliates:
    Jesell Derkos
    Gives me the chills. I never thought very much about God. Maybe now is the time to check him out.
  • A man must constantly exceed his level!

    This inspiring story is about Bruce Lee, a legendary martial art master.

    “Bruce had me up to three miles a day, really at a good pace. We’d run the three miles in twenty-one or twenty-two minutes. Just under eight minutes a mile [Note: when running on his own in 1968, Lee would get his time down to six-and-a half minutes per mile]. So this morning he said to me “We’re going to go five.”

     

    I said, “Bruce, I can’t go five. I’m a helluva lot older than you are, and I can’t do five.” He said, “When we get to three, we’ll shift gears and it’s only two more and you’ll do it.”

     

    I said “Okay, hell, I’ll go for it.” So we get to three, we go into the fourth mile and I’m okay for three or four minutes, and then I really begin to give out. I’m tired, my heart’s pounding, I can’t go anymore and so I say to him, “Bruce if I run anymore,” –and we’re still running-” if I run any more I’m liable to have a heart attack and die.”

     

    He said, “Then die.” It made me so mad that I went the full five miles.

     

    Afterward I went to the shower and then I wanted to talk to him about it. I said, you know, “Why did you say that?” He said,

    “Because you might as well be dead. Seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level.”

    From The Art of Expressing the Human Body By Bruce Lee, John Little

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  • Unique Human Flaws

    An elderly asian woman had two large pots, each hung on the end of a pole, which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. The perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. The poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman: “I am ashamed of myself because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way to your house.” The old woman smiled, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side?” “That’s because I have always known about your flaw so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.” Moral: Like the pots, we all have our own unique flaws. But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

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  • Human Value

    Life is full of ups and downs. It is easy to lose hope and confidence. This little story helps us to realize that no matter what happens, we remain valuable as individuals. A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?” Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.” He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up. He then asked, “Who still wants it?” Still the hands were up in the air. “Well,” he replied, “What if I do this?” And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. “Now who still wants it?” Still the hands went into the air. “My friends, no matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special – Don’t ever forget it!”

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  • Carrots, eggs, and coffee.

    What can a carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee teach a young woman tired of fighting and struggling with adversity and heartaches? Read on and find out the lesson the young woman received from her mother. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as when one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see.” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?” Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. “Which are you?” she asked her daughter. When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean? Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

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  • The seed of honesty.

    A successful businessman was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together. He said, “It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you.” The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. “I am going to give each one of you a SEED today – one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.” One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn’t have a plant and he felt like a failure. Six months went by — still nothing in Jim’s pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn’t say anything to his colleagues, however… He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil – He so wanted the seed to grow. A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn’t going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful — in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him! When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back. “My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown,” said the CEO. “Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!” All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, “The CEO knows I’m a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!” When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed – Jim told him the story. The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, “Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!” Jim couldn’t believe it. Jim couldn’t even grow his seed. “How could he be the new CEO?” the others said. Then the CEO said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead – it was not possible for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!” * If you plant honesty, you will reap trust. * If you plant goodness, you will reap friends. * If you plant humility, you will reap greatness. * If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment. * If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective. * If you plant hard work, you will reap success. * If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation. * If you plant faith in God , you will reap a harvest. So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.. “Whatever You Give To Life, Life Gives You Back” Author Unknown

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  • How are you building your life?

    An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife, enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career. When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. “This is your house,” he said, “my gift to you.” What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well. So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized, we would have done it differently. Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity. The plaque on the wall says, “Life is a do-it-yourself project.” Who could say it more clearly? Your life today is the result of your attitudes and choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.

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Inspiring Quotes

  • Ralph Waldo Emerson

    The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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  • Spryte Loriano

    “Every great story on the planet happened when someone decided not to give up, but kept going no matter what.” –Spryte Loriano

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  • Wallace D. Wattles

    “You can not retain a true and clear vision of wealth if you are constantly turning your attention to opposing pictures, whether they be external or imaginary.” –Wallace D. Wattles

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  • John Milton

    “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven.” –John Milton

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    Mary M
    This kinda ties in with the Mark H meditation video.
  • Charles De Gaulle

    “Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so. For glory gives herself only to those who have always dreamed of her.” –Charles De Gaulle

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  • Albert Einstein

    “Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.” –Albert Einstein

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  • Henry Ford - Failure is opportunity

    “Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” –Henry Ford

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  • Andrew Jackson

    “One man with courage makes a majority.” –Andrew Jackson

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  • John Wooden

    “Do not let what you can not do; interfere with what you can do.” –John Wooden

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  • Trina Paulus

    “How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” –Trina Paulus

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Learn First Aid Skills

  • First Aid for Eye Injury This video gives several scenarios of eye injuries abd treatnebts, Ut deal with penetration of the eye by a foreign object, chemicals in the eye, small objects, such as dust, in the eye, It runs 7 minutes and 51 seconds.

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  • Here is a quick video on stopping a nose bleed. It runs 1 minute and 13 seconds.

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  • This video begins with three famous people who have epilepsy. Their stories are inspirational. One is a football player, one is a hockey player and the other is an international DJ. They give great information about dealing with seizures. The way we deal

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  • How to Apply a Pressure Bandage. This short video is devoted to showing you how to apply a pressure bandage to a bleeding wound. It is 2 minutes and 35 seconds long.

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  • The Heimlich maneuver: a short and sweet video that shows you exactly what to do when someone is choking.

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    Mary M
    My daughter say the Heimlich Poster at a Tacoria and now she won't eat Tacos because she is afraid she will choke.
    Suzie C
    saw someone doing this at a restaurant not long ago. Good to know how to do it.
  • In this video, Nick Rondenelli tells and shows how to deal with a choking baby. The instructions are very different than the Heimlich maneuver on an adult. Everyone should know both methods.

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  • Giving CPR to a baby. This video makes the point that you should start CPR on a baby before calling 911, because you can often get the baby breathing in the first minute. Then you can call 911. It shows exactly how to do CPR on a baby with finger placemen

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  • Official Hands Only CPR This 1 minute 9 second video give instructions for doing hands only CPR in an emergency situation. Many people are concerned about giving CPR without a mouth barrier to protect against possible infection. Here is the solution.

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  • This video begins by showing you exactly what you need in a comprehensive first aid kit and how to use the different bandages and other items. It is produced by FirstAid Mart and runs for 21 minutes and 15 seconds.

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Massage

  • Self Massage for the Head Neck & Shoulders by Laura Stanyer

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  • Self Scalp Massage from MassagebyHeather.com

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  • Self Lymph Drainage Massage by MassageByHeather.com in Louisville, KY

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  • de-stress face and head self massage

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  • Self-Massage for Headache & Migraine Part 2

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  • Your Center Guided Self-Massage

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  • Guided Relaxation & Self-Massage for Headache & Migraine

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Groups

  • New York Recovery
  • Amity Connect Community

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